This is my keyboard. There are many like it but this one is mine.
My keyboard is my best friend, it is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my keyboard is useless.
Without my keyboard I am useless.
I must type my keyboard true, I must type more accurately than my enemy, who is trying to shut me down.
I must edit him before he edits me.
I will, before God I swear this creed; my keyboard and myself are defenders of my network, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.
I thought that this was absolutely hilarious when I read it. I hope you enjoy it too. If you don't get it, just ask and I will send you to some reference films for re-education.